Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
