if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
