We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
