I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So many bounce houses so little time
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
