I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
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Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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