He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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