So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
