I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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