I hate all girls vehemently.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
