I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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