It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
