Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Let's get the cat blown out
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
