We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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