xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
