THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
