We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
