and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
