hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
