Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
