This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
