why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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