i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
