the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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