And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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