I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
