Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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