Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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