Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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