The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it's like heaven, but drunker
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
