Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize