I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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