Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize