i already hear my dad disowning me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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