in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
