My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
