My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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