I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
