drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i think i just lost a toe
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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