She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
