it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
