Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize