his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
