Operation Purity has been aborted
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
