all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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