I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
