Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
