Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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