I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
