so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
