my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize