That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
