I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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