you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He better not be in your backpack
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Drunk is not a location!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
