Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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