doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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