Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
