that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
