I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
