btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
