We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
