Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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