those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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