Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
