would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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