I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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