you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
